Healthy Relationships

For a relationship to be healthy, the individuals involved have to be healthy. If you find yourself in patterns of dysfunction, it may be a good time to take a break from trying to fine the one and focus instead on developing yourself. Our past struggles and challenges have an impact on how we see others and ourselves. So instead of trying to find our value through another person, we should first work to come to a place of happiness and peace within ourselves. If you are feeling unworthy, insecure, afraid, unattractive, or powerless, you are going to attract people whose brokenness makes them attracted to broken people. If you feel all you have to offer is your body or your money, you are going to attract people who don’t see all that you have to offer. Being a good partner requires first believing you are a good person. Once you have done your healing work, then you are ready to bring your light and joy into the life of another light bringer. In other words, your partner should not be your project or your mission. A life partner, a love partner is an equal who you respect and love as they currently exist.

Along with being a healthy person, each of us has to work on our communication if we are going to have a healthy relationship. While it is wonderful when people know you well, it is also unfair to expect people to read our minds all of the time. Relationships require that we relate and communicate our hopes, dreams, fear, plans, needs, and wants. Open the lines of communication about goals, finances, family, expectations, sorrows, joys, and intimacy. Now all of this information is not for the first date, but for the relationship to grow you have to move from surface conversations to a place of deeper connection and knowing.

A healthy relationship is also based on mutual love and respect. It is not a one-sided partnership. Both people have to be invested for it to work. The person you choose to spend your time with should be someone who lifts you up and doesn’t pull you down. A relationship built on respect has no space for abuse, manipulation, intimidation, or violence. Respect is about appreciation and affirmation. We should seek to bring out the best in ourselves and each other. The way we treat each other and talk to each other should start from a place of mutual love and respect.

Finally and of great importance, healthy relationships have joy. Bring the joy into your relationship with moments of pleasant surprises, laughter, affection, and celebration. The world is full of things and people that will create chaos and drama. Aim to bring joy into each other’s lives with random acts of kindness and funny moments of absolute freedom. While you have to be willing to work at your relationship, there needs to be moments of lightness, fun, and peace to remind you both that the relationship is more than worth the investment.