Healthy Sexuality

Your sexuality is connected to not only your body but also your mind, heart, and spirit. There are a number of tips to help you build a healthy sense of your sexuality. The first thing is to recognize that your sexuality is a natural and beautiful part of who you are. Some people have been raised to believe their bodies and their sexuality are their enemies or are evil, dirty, and bad. Others may have had past experiences of sexual violation, abuse, or assault. These experiences can create serious barriers to healthy intimacy; you have to work to break the mental trigger that makes an automatic connection between sex and shame. The truth is that your body and sexuality are sacred, beautiful aspects of who you are.

Another challenge is when people based on past experiences have come to believe that sexuality is merely a means or tool for them to obtain attention or resources. When sexuality is associated with game playing and manipulation it robs you from a having a truly fulfilling experience. Access to your body should not be the price you must pay for housing, shoes, money, or a return phone call. Your body is a temple and should be respected as a part of you while recognizing that it is only a part of you. When you or others reduce your worth to your sexuality alone, so much more is diminished and ignored.

An additional challenge is the fact that some women based on negative past experiences have concluded that sexual intimacy is something that women simply have to endure and that it is only for the enjoyment of men. This is far from the truth. The pleasure of intimacy and affection are available to men and women; even if you have not had the experience of fulfillment, know that with time and care you can enjoy your sexuality.

Another myth is that remaining committed to one person sexually is either impossible or has to be boring. The truth is with a foundation of trust, comfort, respect, and love, you can experience the freedom of creativity and spontaneity that makes intimacy exciting, fun, and nourishing for your body, heart, mind, and spirit. Instead of taking each other for granted and falling into a routine, begin to think out of the box. Shake things up. Do something new.

So in summary to embrace your sexuality in a more healthy and growth-promoting way:
• Resist the negative myths and associations connected to your sexuality
• Choose to celebrate healthy sexuality instead of carrying shame
• Remember that your sexuality is a part of you but not all that you have to offer
• Don’t use sexuality as a tool, weapon, or strategy for manipulation
• Hold on to the belief that sexuality can be enjoyable even if you have yet to experience it that way
• Be willing to explore the ways intimacy can be most fulfilling for you, recognizing that we are all unique
• Consider the ways commitment can open the door for creative, enjoyable intimacy