Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

Child abuse can be physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. The range of experiences can include neglect, humiliation, routine physical assaults, or molestation. As an adult, survivors of childhood abuse may feel frustrated with themselves for still carrying the wounds of past experiences. It is important to be compassionate with yourself and recognize the truly deep ways we are affected by our early experiences. As children and adolescents we are figuring out who we are and our identity is largely shaped by how people treat us. Even if the abuse or neglect happened decades ago it may affect you in a number of ways.

Sometimes adult survivors have challenges with trust issues. You may have difficult trusting others or even trusting yourself. You may also find it difficult to relax and as a result you feel on edge most of the time. Being guarded or distrustful can make relationships difficult. Some survivors carry the trauma in their bodies which means you may for as long as you can remember suffer from migraines, nausea, or muscle ache. Childhood sexual abuse may affect your ability to be intimate, to feel good about your body, or your ability to sleep. Whether you suffer with depression, post traumatic stress, or dependence on substances such as alcohol, cigarettes, or other drugs, it is important to know that help is available.

Given the prevalence of child abuse and neglect, you are very likely surrounded by other survivors who simply have not shared their stories. It is critical to know that you are not alone and that is normal for you to be affected by the way you were treated. Recognizing that your past affects you but doesn’t have to define you is also a key to your recovery. You will not be able to erase the past but you can take ownership over your present and work to live a healthier life. Feeling better about yourself and your abilities are important priorities. There are a few strategies for life after abuse that I want to share with you:

1. Continue to remind yourself that you are not and were not to blame for how you were treated as a child. As an adult you may better understand what your parents or others were thinking or dealing with but the challenges they were facing does not make what happened to you OK.
2. Seriously consider going for counseling. Seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness. People often invest in their physical health and should also invest in their mental health.
3. Challenge negative thoughts instead of holding on to them. Start to change the way you think about yourself and others by interrupting negative thinking patters.
4. Use positive coping strategies instead of negative strategies. Reading, exercise in moderation, artistic expression, talking to a friend, and journaling are all good options.
5. Commit to breaking the cycle. You do not have to become like those who hurt you. Commit to building healthy relationships. You can interrupt the negative patterns and create healthy ones in their place.