Confronting Your Fears

Fear is the anxious feeling we have about a potential negative outcome. Fear can block us from going places, meeting people, and even following our dreams. People have all different fears, including but not limited to fear of social situations, public speaking, dogs, flying, heights, success, failure, crowded spaces, driving, certain people, and even being alone. The challenge becomes how to confront and overcome the fears that are controlling your life or that are keeping you from fulfilling your potential.

There are several strategies that are helpful in addressing your fears. One is learning how to calm your anxious reactions. Sometimes just anticipating a negative outcome can increase our fears tenfold. You have the capacity to calm yourself. Practice taking deep breaths. Begin to tighten and relax your muscles starting with your face and working all the way down to your feet. Ground yourself in the present moment instead of worrying about the future or past. You can even practice visualization. Visualize a peaceful place – it may be a place that was safe and inviting the last time you were there or it may be a place you have only visited in your imagination. Visualization, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation are good skills for preparing to face your fears.

Another strategy is getting real about the evidence. In other words there are people and places that are not safe, so there are times when you need to follow your gut when you feel fear and then there are other times when you can recognize that the amount fear that you feel does not match the situation. So start to look realistically at what could go wrong if you face your fears and the likelihood of those things occurring. When you determine that some things could go wrong, just consider the worst case scenario and weigh the consequences if it does occur. If you speak in public your hands may shake a little at first or you may trip, but are those two occurrences enough to block you from talking about something that is important to you or doing something that is important for your job or school success?

Along with relaxation skills and thinking through your fears, another important strategy is to consider the benefits. If you face your fear, what will you gain? You may gain the ability to socialize, to meet people, to follow your dreams, to improve your self esteem, and to face your past instead of running from it. All of there are worthwhile accomplishments as you plan to move forward. You may also want to break down your fears into smaller steps so you can steadily move forward without having to do it all at once. A final helpful courage boost is the presence of someone who believes in you and is supportive. This may be a friend, family member, therapist, minister, support group members, or romantic partner. It should be someone who has a calming effect on you and not someone who increases your anxieties.

The truth is simply considering facing your fears in a powerful step in the right direction. Step by step, you can overcome the barriers that are blocking you. You can move forward not simply because the fear goes away but you can move forward with the courage in spite of the fear. Dare to step out – life is waiting for you!