Healing from Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is a pervasive issue that violates our humanity. Sexual contact is not consensual when there is use of coercion, force, threat of force, manipulation, or deception. When someone or a group of people have engaged in sexual activities against your will, there can be many long lasting effects. These effects may include but are not limited to depression, anxiety, substance dependence, eating disorders, difficulties with intimacy, distrust, post traumatic stress disorder, and suicidal thoughts, plans, or behaviors. It is important for sexual assault survivors to know that the violation hurts and affects us deeply but it does not have to have the final say in your life. There are many survivors among us who have found healing, recovery, and empowerment from various sources.

Here are a few approaches to healing that you may want to explore:

1. Counseling – Sexual assault can often leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood. It can be helpful to talk with someone who really has an understanding of what sexual assault is, how it affects you, and helpful strategies to assist your recovery.

2. Self-help education – As with other issues, knowledge is powerful. It is important to read about sexual assault and there is much information available on the web, in bookstores, and in your local library. When you aren’t aware of how sexual assault affects you and how to effectively cope with these effects, you can end up blaming yourself and condemning yourself. It’s important to recognize the dynamics of sexual assault so you can gain strength for the journey to wholeness.

3. Express yourself - Sexual assault can bring great feelings of shame and self blame. This can result in silence and secrecy. When we hold things it, the negative consequences can multiply. It is important to find helpful ways to express what you are feeling and thinking. This may be done a number of ways such as talking to friends and family members, engaging in artistic expression, journaling, and praying. Don’t hold it in. It was not your fault and you don’t have to hide your story.

4. Hotlines – Rape crisis centers and other advocacy agencies provide nationwide crisis hotlines. You can talk to an advocate on the phone and even have an advocate accompany you through the medical and legal processes if you choose to make use of those options. Flashbacks and panic attacks can be very distressing. Having someone you can call anytime who will respond with compassion and understanding is very critical.

5. Self care – It is so important for you not to neglect yourself. Even when it is difficult, try to rest, eat healthy foods, and avoid unhealthy coping strategies such as cutting and binging. We interrupt the ripple of assault when we refuse to treat ourselves as if we are worthless. You are valuable and deserve love and respect even when that is not what you have always received.

6. See your strengths – Instead of focusing your energy on self blame and critique, celebrate the ways you have survived. While it has not always been easy to recognize we should honor the fact that we have tried to survive and recover.

It is important to pursue healing by any means necessary. There are many pathways available to you, including but not limited to spirituality, group therapy, activism/social justice work, and medication to help manage your symptoms as you work through the recovery process. You deserve the opportunity to find the pathway that works for you. Sexual assault is a “comma” in your life and is not the “period”. You can shape the next chapter of your life and you don’t have to do it alone. Dedicate yourself to moving from victim to victor.