Addressing Addictions: Are your habits out of control?

Do you find it hard to stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors? Would you say you have an addiction to cigarettes, alcohol, other drugs, food, gambling, pornography, chocolate, caffeine, or the internet? While some addictions may have more serious consequences than others, it is important to take note of any personal habits that are out of control. We should be concerned about our well-being when we engage excessively in activities to give us pleasure and relief from stress and pressure but the behaviors actually in the long-run diminish our physical and/or mental health.

Some personality traits have been associated with addictions. They are:
- Impulsive behavior, difficulty delaying gratification.
- A high value of breaking rules.
- A sense of social isolation.
- A sense of heightened stress.

Here are some warning signs to consider:
1. You find yourself moving from one unhealthy habit to another.
2. Drinking or drugs have led to problems in your job or relationships.
3. You have a parent who struggled with addictions.
4. Your life tends to be full of drama.
5. You have difficulty making meaningful relationships.
6. You often feel out of control in one or more areas of your life.
7. You become obsessed with things quickly.
8. You lie about your habits to your friends and family.

If you are concerned that you may have an addictive personality, here are some things you can do:
1. Identify which things you feel you could develop an addiction to and avoid them before they become addictions.
2. Focus your energies on healthy activities to replace the unhealthy strategies that you are using to cope.
3. Learn relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, prayer, muscle relaxation, and exercise in moderation.
4. Write down the negative thoughts you have when you feel pulled to engage in the addictive behavior. Then write down an argument against those negative thoughts. Instead of accepting negativity, resist by trying to look at the situation in another way.
5. Break down the things you need to do into doable small goals so you don’t feel so overwhelmed.
6. Educate yourself. Find information on-line or in the library about the substance or habit to which you are developing an addiction. Information is empowering and can help give you strength to work toward healing.
7. Consider seeking professional help. Addictions are challenging but you don’t have to face it alone.

Addressing Addiction

There are many forms of addiction. Some of you may be addicted to alcohol or other drugs, while others may be addicted to shopping, sex, pornography, gambling, cutting, compulsive exercise, internet use, or overeating. Addictions are largely a symptom of an underlying issue. They are a compulsion to do a particular activity even though it has negative consequences for you, physically, mentally, socially, and/or financially. We use our addictions to cope with pain, disappointment, anger, depression, fear, and insecurity. To address our addictions, we have to be honest with ourselves about what we are medicating. What are we trying to numb, forget, or erase with our behaviors? When we really look at it, we will discover not only what we’ve been trying to cover up with our addictions but we will also discover that the addiction has not helped us. Using substances to distract us from the substance of the problem is never successful in the long run. It is a temporary fix and often our tolerance increases so we need more and more to try to give us a glimpse of peace. We begin to drink more, smoke more, hook up more, shop more, gossip more, eat more, all in an attempt to escape. But as the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. We cannot escape ourselves so it is better in the long run to face ourselves and confront the issues that are under the covers.

To address addictions, we have to first acknowledge that the behavior is unhealthy. Take responsibility for the ways you have used substances, food, credit cards, or casual sexual encounters in a manner that does not serve you or benefit you. We cannot heal what we do not acknowledge. By stopping the denial, we interrupt the silence and shame and gain the courage to face our issues.

The next thing you need to do is get around supportive people. This may be family, friends, therapists, sponsors, an AA group, or your faith community. You need to surround yourself with people who are supportive of the changes you are trying to make. When we are constantly with people that encourage unhealthy behaviors, it is hard to make a change. These also need to be people you can truly be honest with and accountable to for the decisions you make. Resist the shame and stigma that often keeps people from seeking professional help. Addictions are a major challenge and you deserve the support you need to heal and empower yourself.

Another key to addressing addictions is replacing the addictive behavior with a positive coping strategy. The way you are currently coping is not good for you. You need to try other strategies such as talking to someone you trust, meditation, prayer, healthy amounts of exercise, problem solving, relaxation, and engaging in activities/hobbies that boost your self esteem. Develop an action plan of activities you will do both when you are feeling stressed and as a prevention tool to improve your mood before negative things occur.

A final important key is the use of positive self-talk. Often we give ourselves self-defeating messages such as, “I am a bad person. It’s too late for me. I’m stuck. Nothing is going to work for me. I’m hopeless.” These statements increase our feelings of guilt, shame, and despair. You have to begin to challenge those thoughts when they come up. Everyone may have a negative thought pop up from time to time but you can decide how you respond to it. Instead of feeding it and freely accepting it, challenge it. There is more to you that the addiction. With support, your life can improve. Your life and health are worth fighting for so be encouraged and begin to address your addictions today.