Stepping Up: Living with Excellence

Are you ready for a more excellent way? Are you tired of settling or living life below your potential? We often find ourselves going through the motions of living but not being truly fulfilled. There are many things that pull us into living with mediocrity, such as fear, procrastination, and unhealthy habits. Even though easy living may be the simple choice in the short run, it often leaves us feeling empty, guilty, and frustrated. On the other side, our gifts, purpose, vision, and goals beckon us into our greatness. If you are truly ready to step up and make a change, here are the Stages of Change (developed by Prochaska and DiClemente) for you to consider. These stages are usually applied to the process of changing unhealthy behaviors but they can also be applied to our decision to engage in more positive, healthy behaviors.

• Precontemplation – This is the stage when we are living below our potential but don’t even realize it. This means we have become so comfortable settling that we don’t even realize more is possible. It is disappointing when we embrace a life that falls short of our potential. However, just by the fact that you are reading this blog, I believe you are already considering the ways you can improve your life.

• Contemplation – This is the stage when we begin to think about what life would be like if we began to think, speak, and act differently. It is important during this time to consider the benefits and challenges that would come with serious life change. Growth can be difficult so we have to think it through by being honest with ourselves.

• Preparation – During this stage we make a decision to step up to the plate of change and then we begin to prepare for the changes we need to make. If your dream is big you have to prepare to step out on faith. Consider the steps you need to take now so that you can make changes in your personal life, professional life, health habits, self-care, artistic expression, and/or spiritual life.

• Action – This stage is necessary. Many people will live their entire lives saying “one day”. Well eventually we have to take action. This is when we move from thinking about it and preparing to do it to actually taking concrete steps of change. Consider now what are you willing to do to transform your life? If not now, when?

• Maintenance – In this stage we have to keep up a spirit of excellence. We have to be intentional about not going back to the easy path. We have to resist our old habits, patterns, and cycles and commit daily to living with excellence. It is not enough to make a New Year’s Resolution or to make a momentary decision. Maintenance requires self-discipline. We have to seek out those things that feed our spirits, minds, and hearts – those things and people that inspire and motivate us so we don’t go backward. Maintenance also means that when I slip back into mediocre living I don’t allow myself to dwell there. I make a decision to re-commit to the path of excellence.

A more excellent way is available to you. Make the decision to step up and then keep stepping forward. Excellence is not easy but it is worth it.

Your Total Life Make-Over

At this time of year many of us make resolutions or revive old resolutions. We are often inspired and energized to turn the page, release the past, and move forward. We want to be wiser, stronger, and more fulfilled. The challenge is not always starting the new path but staying committed to it. Here are a few pointers to help equip you for the journey.

1. Make a commitment to a lifestyle change not simply a push for quick results. When we do rush diets to quickly lose pounds we often end up gaining them back. Additionally when we decide we just want to be with anyone, we end up choosing people who are not good for us in the long run. So instead of thinking of simply changing your life in the NOW, you want to commit to changing the way you approach life in the short term and the long term.

2. Set realistic goals. Often we get discouraged because we set unrealistic goals and then fail. When we sabotage ourselves but setting goals that we can’t live up to for more than a few days or few weeks, we do ourselves a disservice. Don’t set your goals based on what someone else is doing or simply what someone else has said. You have to set goals that work for you. Be honest with yourself. Now honest doesn’t mean that you set no goals at all. It just means that you take the mountain one step at a time.

3. Accountability is necessary. When we don’t set any standards we end up continuing to follow old habits, patterns, and relationship cycles. You need to acknowledge what needs to change and what you are going to do about it. Think it, speak it, write it down, share it, pray about it, meditate on it, and monitor it. If I make a vague promise to myself that I’m going to do better financially this is meaningless. I have to spell out to myself what exactly that means. I need to be very clear about my aims in terms of my budget, my investment in my financial future, and the temptations that need to be avoided. Often it is good to share your goals with another person who can help you to stay accountable. If I decide to give up fast food, or soda, or sweets, it helps if those around me know that this is my goal. Name it and claim it.

4. Surround yourself with positive people. If you are trying to quit or cut back on fatty foods, smoking, drinking, gossip, procrastination, or unsafe sexual activities, then you need to be around people who support those goals. If the people I am around constantly attempt to discourage me and dissuade me from my goal, it will be even harder to maintain the change. With a new attitude you should also draw new relationships – connections to those who are striving for better and who support those who are trying to do better.

5. Remember a set-back does not mean surrender. The truth is change is difficult. Too often because we slip up we excuse ourselves from any further effort. If and when you find yourself going back to old habits, remember the reason you committed to changing in the first place. Think about the benefits of change, recall how good it felt when you were living in a more positive way, and then take active steps to get back on the path. A misstep doesn’t have to be the final step. Recognize it for what it was, consider what you need to do to avoid it in the future, and then encourage yourself to make the change again.