Sleep Solutions

Many people have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. If you are not getting enough sleep you may end up facing physical, psychological, and social consequences. It may be difficult to focus and concentrate during the day. It is hard to truly apply yourself when you are drained from lack of rest. Here are a number of strategies that may help you improve your sleep:

1. Prepare for bed with calming activity not stimulating activity. Watching television, playing video games, and having an emotionally intense argument are not activities that lead to a good night’s sleep. Try reading, taking a warm bath, drinking caffeine-free tea, or listening to calming music before going to bed instead.

2. Avoid caffeine and nicotine before bed. Taking in caffeine right before bed is really self sabotage and sends your body a very confusing message. Additionally while alcohol may help you fall asleep it disrupts the quality of your sleep and should also not be your sleep solution.

3. Deep breathing. We often spend our days with very shallow breathing. This type of breathing holds stress in the body. When you lay down to sleep, slow down your breathing and take nice, deep cleansing breaths to send your body the message that you can relax.

4. Progressive muscle relaxation. As you lay down, take time to intentionally relax each muscle in your body. When you are so stressed about trying to sleep you end up holding tension in your back, neck, or face, it will be even more difficult to sleep. Go through each area of your body and relax your muscles.

5. Move clocks out of view. It creates more stress if you spend the night watching the time pass. Turn the clocks away from your bed to reduce the pressure.

6. Do not nap and do not sleep in. If you keep taking naps during the day you will continue to have difficulty sleeping on a regular schedule. You are creating a pattern that communicates to your body when it should sleep.

7. Try to limit the noise, heat, and light in your room. Television, uncomfortable temperatures, and music can be stimulating and take your energy and focus away from relaxing. Additionally if the room is bright you may find yourself looking around the room and focusing on things around you instead of allowing yourself to unwind.

8. Address your stress during the day. Often those who suffer from sleep problems, have a lot of worry and anxiety. Work to actively solve the problems that are creating stress for you. Also learn to let go of the things that are beyond your control. By finding ways to handle your stress during the day, you will be less stressed at night.

9. Work out during the day. Exercising right before bedtime can actually make insomnia worse. You may feel more energized and instead of relaxing your body may be charged up for more activity.

10. Reduce time you spend in the bed when awake. If you journal in bed, read in bed, and watch TV in bed, your bed is associated more with activity than rest. If you cannot sleep you should get out of bed to do activities instead of remaining in bed.

11. If you continue to have difficulty falling or staying asleep, you should seek professional help. Whether your sleep challenges are more medical or psychological, there is help available.

12. Adopt positive thinking. If you embrace the idea that your situation is hopeless, you will contribute to your sleep challenges. There is hope. Your sleep may not become identical to others but you can get a higher quality of sleep.

Surviving Social Anxiety

Many people become anxious when they have to be around others. Your anxiety can range from mild shyness or nervousness to severe panic that makes it difficult if not impossible to go out in public. Social Anxiety Disorder is defined as an intense fear of particular social situations, such as new situations in which you fear you will be evaluated or judged by others. Thinking about going to these places can increase your anxiety before you even arrive or you may work very hard to avoid the situation at all costs. Social anxiety is often based in a feeling of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, shame, and embarrassment. While everyone experiences some level of rejection, social anxiety has an irrational aspect to it. Even when people are not looking at you, judging you, or evaluating you, you feel that they are centering their attention on you. It is important to understand the anxiety so it doesn’t stop you from living a full life.

You may experience social anxiety in the following types of situations:
• Public speaking
• Going on a date
• Making small talk
• Attending a party
• Talking to people you feel are more important than you
• Eating in public
• Being criticized
• Going to a new place

The following are some symptoms of social anxiety
• Feeling nervous or worried
• Fearing that people will reject you
• Overly self-conscious
• Avoiding new situations and people
• Upset stomach
• Shaky voice
• Trembling
• Dry mouth
• Feeling faint
• Sweating

Your life has purpose and fear can delay you from walking in your purpose. We try not to let our worries win and instead to find ways to manage or conquer our anxieties. Social Anxiety can become a major barrier to your happiness, peace of mind, job security, educational dreams, and relationship success. Here are a few strategies to help you handle social anxiety.
1. Deep breathing. When we feel nervous we sometimes hold our breath or start breathing in a very shallow way. When your body is not getting enough air it intensifies the feeling of anxiety. It is important before, during, and after social situations that you remind yourself to take long, deep cleansing breaths. As you slow down your breathing, you will learn to calm yourself so you can see the situation more clearly.
2. Self-acceptance. Often we are afraid of what others will think of us because we feel we are unworthy of respect, love, or acceptance. It is important to work on appreciating yourself so you will not be so dependent on the feedback and opinions of others.
3. Peaceful Partners. Watch the company you keep. If you surround yourself with competitive and/or materialistic people, you will feel more pressure to be “on”. Try to spend time going out with people who are down to earth and who accept you for who you are. In this way you will feel less pressure to be something you are not.
4. Self-care. If you don’t get enough sleep or if you fill yourself with caffeine, alcohol, and sugar you will end up adding to your anxiety and stress level. Nurture yourself with good rest and good food so you can meet the day from a place of calm.
5. Spiritual Practice. Spiritual activity can be an important part of calming your anxiety. You may find relief through the daily practice of meditation, prayer, inspirational music, and affirming readings.
6. Patience is a Virtue. When you are too hard on yourself by setting unrealistic goals, you increase your anxiety. If you feel your voice shaking or feel yourself sweating, remind yourself it’s ok. You can outlast the anxiety but you have to be patient with yourself.

Confronting Your Fears

Fear is the anxious feeling we have about a potential negative outcome. Fear can block us from going places, meeting people, and even following our dreams. People have all different fears, including but not limited to fear of social situations, public speaking, dogs, flying, heights, success, failure, crowded spaces, driving, certain people, and even being alone. The challenge becomes how to confront and overcome the fears that are controlling your life or that are keeping you from fulfilling your potential.

There are several strategies that are helpful in addressing your fears. One is learning how to calm your anxious reactions. Sometimes just anticipating a negative outcome can increase our fears tenfold. You have the capacity to calm yourself. Practice taking deep breaths. Begin to tighten and relax your muscles starting with your face and working all the way down to your feet. Ground yourself in the present moment instead of worrying about the future or past. You can even practice visualization. Visualize a peaceful place – it may be a place that was safe and inviting the last time you were there or it may be a place you have only visited in your imagination. Visualization, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation are good skills for preparing to face your fears.

Another strategy is getting real about the evidence. In other words there are people and places that are not safe, so there are times when you need to follow your gut when you feel fear and then there are other times when you can recognize that the amount fear that you feel does not match the situation. So start to look realistically at what could go wrong if you face your fears and the likelihood of those things occurring. When you determine that some things could go wrong, just consider the worst case scenario and weigh the consequences if it does occur. If you speak in public your hands may shake a little at first or you may trip, but are those two occurrences enough to block you from talking about something that is important to you or doing something that is important for your job or school success?

Along with relaxation skills and thinking through your fears, another important strategy is to consider the benefits. If you face your fear, what will you gain? You may gain the ability to socialize, to meet people, to follow your dreams, to improve your self esteem, and to face your past instead of running from it. All of there are worthwhile accomplishments as you plan to move forward. You may also want to break down your fears into smaller steps so you can steadily move forward without having to do it all at once. A final helpful courage boost is the presence of someone who believes in you and is supportive. This may be a friend, family member, therapist, minister, support group members, or romantic partner. It should be someone who has a calming effect on you and not someone who increases your anxieties.

The truth is simply considering facing your fears in a powerful step in the right direction. Step by step, you can overcome the barriers that are blocking you. You can move forward not simply because the fear goes away but you can move forward with the courage in spite of the fear. Dare to step out – life is waiting for you!