Emotionally Abusive Relationships

Sometimes people think as long as a person has not hit you, they have not been abusive. This is far from the truth. Abuse can take many forms including emotional abuse which is sometimes called psychological abuse. We have to take an honest look at our relationships to determine if there is a problem. Emotional abuse is a pattern or systematic way of diminishing or putting a person down. It includes behaviors toward a current or former dating partner that are engaged in as a way to control and maintain power. These behaviors can include degrading, terrorizing, isolating, or exploiting. Other strategies of emotional control and abuse in relationships include threats, humiliation, ridicule, undermining your self esteem, and frequent criticism. Some other indicators that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship are feeling in fear of your partner, feeling you have to give in to sexual demands to avoid arguments, or feeling trapped in the relationship. Some emotionally abusive partners have a pattern of infidelity, steal money from you, run up your credit, or throw away or destroy your belongings.

If you are in or have been in an emotionally abusive relationship you may notice a number of ways it has affected you. These effects may include anxiety/worry, depression, feeling disconnected from your feelings, difficulty with trust and intimacy, anger, shame, questioning your faith, self-doubt, and post traumatic stress disorder (replaying the incidents in your mind, being on guard, avoidance).
While all relationships have their challenges and require effort to maintain, you have to make a distinction between the routine challenges of relationships and actually being in an abusive relationship. Overall the person you choose to spend your time with should be someone with whom you feel safer and more affirmed. If being with your partner makes you feel disregarded, rejected, unattractive, incompetent, inadequate, or afraid, it’s time to look honestly at the situation.

If you are currently in an abusive relationship, you need to think seriously about ways to get out and get some help. You don’t have to handle it alone. Break the silence and shame and talk to someone. If their response is not supportive, talk to someone else. Love should not be a cover for fear and disrespect. You deserve better. The abuse needs to stop or you need to find a way to get out. Either way, the healing process will take some time. Give yourself space to heal because the wounds inflicted by those we love often hurt the deepest. Whatever you decide, remember you deserve a life free of abuse.