Friday, February 12, 2010

Love in Action: Keeping the Romance Alive


Love is an action word. When we feel love, we act on it. There should be some evidence that how we say we feel is a reality. Love is enduring, considerate, tender affection for another person. There are various ways we can demonstrate our love. The following are some tips to keep in mind.

1. When you love someone, you show that you know them and what is important to them. I actually listen and observe so I can understand their feelings, views, and values. This also means I don’t give them gifts based on what I want but instead I give things that they will actually enjoy. It also means that at times I do things that I know they would appreciate without them having to ask.

2. When you love someone, you inspire the best in them instead of the worse. While you want to be comfortable with one another, there is an issue if we treat everyone else better than we treat each other. This applies to the way we speak to each other and the actions that we consider acceptable.

3. When you love someone, you don’t need a special occasion to show it. Birthdays, Christmas, and Valentine’s Days are nice opportunities to show how you care, but there is nothing better than a surprise show of affection that is not tied to any particular day or event.

4. When you love someone, there is no room in your relationship for fear, intimidation, threats, or games. You respect them and yourself enough to make the safety and health of the relationship a top priority.

5. When you love someone, you communicate your feelings and thoughts. Intimacy includes the mental, emotional, and spiritual. Until you open up to a person, you have not truly gotten to a place of full love.

6. When you love someone, you look for ways to affirm and encourage them and not demean them. When you ridicule and humiliate the person you are with, this is not a manifestation of love but emotional brokenness.

7. When you love someone and they do not want to be with you, you love them enough to let them go.

8. When you love someone from a pure place, you have to also love yourself. You recognize that you both have much to offer and both benefit from the relationship. The mindset that one person is upgrading the other or the belief that one person is lucky to be chosen by the other are both set-ups for imbalance and disrespect. See value in yourself and in the other person.

In this season, when so much attention is being given to love, make sure you have the real thing. Don’t confuse love with lust or love with control. So much more is available but it takes effort to find love and to keep it alive. It’s worth the investment!

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